So, it looks like I am going to have to wait a year to build 😦  Not my favorite plan, but the most intelligent and logical one.  I had a meeting of my contractor (Francesco), my neighbour (Jack) and the heavy duty excavation guy (Robbie) last week.  We looked at the land and discussed the options.  In the end it looks like I am going to build in essentially the same location, maybe 20 feet or so to the west.  We will build up the land, pulling clay out from near by to create my wild pond and help to manage the water on my property.  Robbie will build up the foundation, the driveway, create the pond and clear the yard site.  He will bring in the gravel and spread it on the foundation so next spring all we have to do it build the slab on it,

I am sad that I won’t be in my new house this fall, but I am glad we are doing it right.  I have gotten into too much trouble in my past trying to push things that were not ready to move.  I would rather do this right than fast.  I am excited to see my wild pond take shape literally and figuratively.  This way I will be able to put more time and energy into planning it then if I were juggling both the house and the pond.

There is a lot of benefit in this extra year.  The time to plan the wild pond is one of them. The time to save more money is another one.  Francesco and I have a 3 month deadline (end of Aug.) to have all the finishing details finalized.  This gives me more time to think things through.

Some of the things that I now have to sort out are: my pool.  Where I will store it for the year.  I have to contact Krevco and let them know the change in plans and see what we can do to make it happen next summer, I can store it in my barn if necessary, or maybe I can ‘rent’ some space at their warehouse if it is not too expensive.  I have to talk to several people I was getting on board with the build and sort out the yard clean up, insurance and the financing.  I still have to get an opinion appraisal of the land and the home as the folks I was talking with at Interlake Reality don’t feel they can give an appraisal for a hempcrete build.  I have a number to call of someone who will be able to do so.

I am realizing how some of my limiting beliefs are impacting my decisions and my ability to think about this house. I’ve always made due with what was offered or what I got, I have not had many experiences of feeling like I have a say.  I’ve always believed that other’s opinions were more important than mine, that people should not be put out of their way to please me, that I should not want something with too many details (that I should just settle for the worst version of what I want) and other beliefs that have caused me to not really think about or feel about what I actually want in its fullness.  With this house I knew I wanted several things: the pool, the masonry stove, as much wildlife views as I could, a big pantry and a big closet.  Once those things were in place I felt like I have gotten enough and I should not wish for more.  Now, I get to design the interior, not just making due with what is created as a result of these other choices, but as an intentional design that brings me joy.

I know it seems weird that I would feel like I don’t have a say in these things, or taking the power to have a say challenges me.  This is a good learning to help me work through these false beliefs and get to the root of them.  Why don’t I feel like I deserve to have what I want? Especially when what I want is to be in alignment with the principles of Love, love of self, love of others and love of the environment.  Now I get to dream and create my home interior, have a say (really the final say) in every aspect.  Before I just made snap decisions based on a small picture, now I have the opportunity to look at the big picture and really feel out what I want.  It is kind of daunting and exciting at the same time.  I look forward to what I discover and sharing it as I go.